Has your spouse turned more of a roommate than a lover? Are you finding it difficult to interact and share your thoughts and ideas with your partner? Does a conversation between you two often end up in an argument? If you nodded along worriedly, then your marriage might be in deep trouble, and you might be in an urgent need of marriage counseling.
If you are wondering what marriage counseling is and how marriage advice can help you save and add spark to your relationship, think no further. MomJunction helps you know all about marriage counseling and how it can improve your relationship.
What Is Marriage Counseling?
Marriage counseling is a psychotherapy that helps couples in a marriage to identify the problems in their relationship, resolve their conflicts, and improve their relationship. It is also well-known as couples’ therapy. By opting for marriage and family counseling, you can make appropriate and thoughtful decisions about mending your relationship or parting your ways. You can also opt for counseling to strengthen your relationship, in general.
Usually, marriage counseling is a short term therapy involving both the partners. At times, just one partner works with the therapist to improve the relationship.
Marriage counseling can help couples at various stages of their relationship, such as premarital, post-marriage, family planning, and when kids are growing. Premarital counseling can help couples achieve a deeper understanding of each other and iron out the differences if any.
Couples whose relationship is smooth need not necessarily have to undergo counseling, but it is a good idea for those who are facing a rough phase. Therefore, probe into your life and check for those signs that signal for some help from a professional.
10 Prominent Signs That Tell You Need Marriage Counseling:
Here are some warning signs you might not want to miss
1. You hardly speak to each other:
The absence of communication is one of the major setbacks that your marriage has. You are reluctant to talk and share your ideas, thoughts, and experiences with your spouse. This is a prominent sign for the need of marriage counseling.
2. You argue on trivial matters constantly:
If arguments, with a negative tone, become a daily affair, then that is sure to spoil your relationship. When you and your spouse have an argument, one of you is bound to feel disregarded, misunderstood, shamed, judged, or less secured.
3. You are scared to speak:
In a normal marriage, you have the liberty to talk about finances and health, habits, table manners and just about anything. If you are hesitant to discuss things with your spouse, however trivial or crucial they might be, then it means that there is trouble in your marriage. A marriage counselor helps you develop confidence in you to speak freely with your spouse.
4. You restrict love and affection as punishment:
If one of you gets angry and stops talking, loving and caring your partner to punish them, then it is leading to a strained relationship. You do not reciprocate to their affection and ignore them. When love and understanding vanish from your relationship, then it is an indication that you need marriage counseling.
5. You treat your spouse as your enemy:
You see an enemy in your spouse every time they disagree or oppose your view. You try to search for your partner’s vested interest in all the suggestions or help they offer. This is the time you need to see a marriage counselor so that such feelings are nipped in the bud.
6. You keep secrets:
There needs to be transparency in a healthy marriage but then every individual has the right to privacy. Note that secrecy is different from privacy. So, when you or your spouse begin to keep secrets and avoid sharing your experiences, information, and thoughts with each other, then your marriage might get into trouble and need counseling. For instance, you know your bank balance is substantial, but you do not want to let your spouse know about it even when he or she needs money urgently. Things get difficult when one of you discover the other’s secret.
7. Have an extra-marital affair:
An affair could be the root for several problems in a marriage. When one of you longs or gets into an extra-marital affair, it means that you are replacing your partner with someone else.
8. You are financially unfaithful:
Financial dishonesty is bound to affect your marriage. If you do not find it important to inform your spouse about your expenses, savings, loans, and various other financial matters, it can damage your marriage.
9. Your married life lacks intimacy:
When you no more get intimate with your spouse, it signals that something is wrong. If you and your spouse are simply sharing a room with nothing much happen between the sheets, then your marriage might get into rough waters, and you need counseling to resolve the matter.
10. You want your spouse to change:
When you think your partner is not perfect and he or she needs to change in various aspects of life, such as dressing style, lifestyle, eating habits, and many other things, then it signals that you are not happy with your marriage. It is natural for a wife and husband to expect some changes in each other. But that does not mean that your partner can change their very basic traits for you. Dissatisfaction creeps in your family if the expectations are, and you need marriage counseling to restore happiness.
All the signs indicate an underlying problem, which could be a dissatisfaction, unhappiness or disappointment. Marriage counseling helps you identify the issue and address it.